Random Update

The picture above describes everything. 

Let the time pass faster, please. 

I am feeling - gruesome. 

*deteriorating* 

It has been a long time I didn't update my blog about what is going on with my life right now. I have been really super busy lately with assignment and work. In addition, the older I am, the more I think I shouldn't share too much private feelings in blog. Losers get themselves all exposed to the world and the victories belonged to those silent keepers. I began to accept this truth.

I feel that happiness is very fragile. It can be obtained easily but it can go disappear very suddenly too. The moment when you know how to cherish it, that is when it seems to fly far apart from you. It is difficult to change somebody but seriously, is it that easy to change yourself then? I question myself countless of times. In the end, I am still stubborn and persistent with my decision. Will I lose out many things because of this decision? 

Enough with all the emo stuff. Let's talk about something more cheerful. Lately, I love baking so much so that I think I will die without an oven in the future. Haha - The temptation to bake and to cook is very strong. How I wish I'm at home now.. Seriously, being in the kitchen really helps me to enlighten my mood. I feel like I'm in paradise without any worries and sadness whenever I do any cooking in the kitchen. Time flies swiftly as I bake. There are many steps involved and what makes me happy is seeing the end product. All the hard work will be paid off upon seeing the beautiful product created. I really wish to have a fully equipped kitchen in the future. 

To think about this, I think I'm not suitable to be a working woman. Haha - I really dislike to work. I enjoy doing things at home - at anytime I want. I hate restrictions and commitments, not to mention responsibilities. However, this is life, isn't it - Who can live without those? 

I cut my hair a few days ago. I regretted, somehow. It looks.. ugly. I think this hairstyle doesn't suite me very well. I wish it grows long faster so that I can change another hairstyle again. 

If I am given a choice to grant at this moment, I wish I could find a soul mate or a sister who can think the way I do and support me in whatever decisions I make. It sucks when you live in a place where you can hardly find somebody to trust and rely on. It is tiring to always have to depend on your own and putting up the fake mask to face the whole world. Sometimes, I wish I live in the cave - then I don't have to care so much. All I need to do everyday is to think of the 3 meals I have to eat and a shelter to sleep. That's all - Life is miserable for me at this moment. I do really wish, I have a sister. I have always wished I have one. Why my mom doesn't give birth another daughter for me - Aww.