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Thursday, November 15, 2012
. . . . S T A T U S

I feel extremely lost right now. It is most probably because I am away from Him for too, too, too long. I could barely remember the last time I went to church for service. I walked away from Him and now I find myself lost in everything.. Things don't go smoothly for me. My life seems up side down. I don't really gain true peacefulness in my soul despite having so much money that I earned by hard. 

I miss the days when I can feel peacefulness when I am in the church. It is a strange feeling but it is undoubtedly true that Christ's home gives one peace, especially when you're in troubles. The feeling is absent from me for too long. I need to rejuvenate and reach back to God. 

Too tired to fight with so many impossibilities that I know I can't combat by myself. There are too many things which are not within my control. I just want to surrender all to Him. I am too tired to fight alone.. 

God has mercy on me. Please forgive me for whatever I have done all these while. The guilt is strong and I feel that it is overwhelming me. The only way to get out from this nasty situation is to go back to God and repent. 

I hate too many people. I make my life miserable. The hatred is supposed to be let go long time ago although that incident caused a big impact on my life. It is just time to let go all the hatred.. I can't live on forever like this.. hating the same people for years. I need to learn how to forgive them so that God can also forgive my sins. 

I pray that my fever will go away soon. I hope to attend this coming Sunday's service. I just want to go back to the days when I feel jolly and fun to be in the church. I always believe that Christians are good and comfortable to be with. They are always caring and concern about your life. 


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