Some People Say

. . . . S T A T U S

Mood : =))

After so long of fighting with a team of enemies called ASSIGNMENTS, I finally won the war. Phew--- The 14th week is finally over! The war has lasted for 4 months. The semester is coming to an end very soon. I'm going to sit for my finals in 2 weeks time. Happy? A little, because this means that holidays are near too. I'm going to have my holidays in about 1 month time. I'm so looking forward to it but at the same time, I am not willing to separate with him for so-so-long. Hmph...

Ever since I came back from the 4 months long holiday, I encountered many interesting stuff at Kedah. Besides being busy everyday with assignments, I learnt many things too. By the way, talking about assignments, I seriously feel that I don't learn much thing throughout this semester. All I do in the past 4 months was rushing the incomplete assignments. I wonder how am I suppose to sit for the coming finals? I do not have much input in my head. I'm scared if I will feel blank when I see the paper. Zzzz...

Other than studies, I encountered many issues related to people---- I tried my very best to mix around with people because I listened to some kind advices, which asked me to try to socialize with more people. I tried, I seriously tried, however the results today have proven that I failed. Honestly, I am being sincere and genuine to most people. However, people may not treat me the same way. That is lesson number 1. Lesson number 2, do not see everybody as your friends because some people, they are just meant not to be friends. Looking back at all the stuff that have happened, I tend to let out a silly laugh because I just only realise how ridiculous mankind characters can be--- Some people, they can pour fire to the argument/conflict that you're involved in whereby he/she has nothing to do with that issue. His/she is just trying to make the victim to be more embarrass by adding more complains and mocking. Some people too, they appeared to be your friends but when you really need them, they will never be there. This is lesson number 3. Do not anyhow expects anything from "friends" that are not really "friends". Expectation carries disappointment when you trust the wrong person. Lesson number 4: Learn not to take words seriously. Some people can live so happily even though they are being laughed by their friends every now and then. I salute these people but I think they are silly. These people do not know how pitiful it is when you are being laughed yet nobody stands up for you. The most silly part of all about this type of people is: they do not know they are pitiful yet they want to treat others the same way of how he/she is treated. He/she will not have the thought that he/she wants to prohibit people from keep bullying people mentally and psychologically. No, they won't because they want to be the "bully" after being the one being bullied for too long? Lesson number 5: Facebook is too dangerous because words spread like virus. Facebook is a good social network that is being created for news sharing as well as gossiping purpose. It is also a good place for people to post comments with underlying meanings--- The intention of doing it is to let the person knows that he/she is the one being mentioned in the comments. Isn't it a better way if that person could just speak up to that person whom he/she hates right in front of his/her face? Writing how your terrible feelings are towards this particular person without mentioning his/her name will make you feel better? It will not solve the problem because all you are doing is- taking revenge. I couldn't understand this. I do not like to do this but I did it once. I was just thinking of doing the same thing like what people did to me-- I find myself silly after that cuz I know I do not want to be like these people. Lesson number 6: " university friends" provide help with conditions. People say university friends are the best friends that you can ever find in your life. Guess what? I am a real person who experienced this and I can clearly tell you that NOT all people are lucky to be able to meet GOOD friends in university. This is because most university friends only HELP one another when they need something good in return. I hardly seek for majority's help because I know I am the odd minority. One day, when I needed their help, the feedback I got was: "today we help you, next time you help us", "you help us to settle this and we will help you with yours" and so on--- All these while, I don't mind helping people who are really in troubles but--- Hmmm... Perhaps after going through all these, I should allow my eyes to be wider so that I could identify who are friends and who are the "good-for-functions-only friends". They are everywhere.. The scary thing of all is- they are the majority! That is why, they always win, no matter what-- When you need help, this is what you get, from, friends.

Long paragraph. Anyway, writing them out is just to sum up what kind of experience I had throughout this 4 months semester. It is just 4 months and I could write out 6 important lessons of surviving in university. I was wrong for causing the trouble to them but if they are really friends, would they really expect to see how terrible my ending is without their willingness to help? Mmm hmm... Whatever it is- What a friend said was true. Saying 'thank you' instead of 'sorry' is better. I do not agree with his reason though- 'sorry' is an act of belittling myself. I do not feel belittled because I do not feel that I am 100% wrong in this case. I am apologizing just for the sake of whatever uneasy that I have caused to you. I used to think that, 'sorry' should be vice-versa to solve a conflict but guess what again? People here take apology like as though they really deserve it--- Hurtful words blurted out do not need an apology. Lesson number 7. Perfect 7 in 4 months.

I used to feel belittled, disappointed, down and gloomy because of the treatment given by my "friends". Now, I am finding myself back-- Bowing down to the majority does not always guarantee acceptance. I feel more ease of being myself. Being lonely momentarily makes me feel happier because I do not have to force myself to face them and persuade myself to treat them neutral. For the time being, I really can't make it. The best thing of all about these: I learn to recognise who and who--

I felt seriously thankful because I still have him as my supporter. I do not have much trusted friends but at least, I have him. When everybody condemns me, there is still him who tries all ways to defend for me. Some people say I am too dependent on him. Do you know what? I do not have a choice because I am kicked out from the group-- He is among the only few whom I can really trust and rely on. So, don't try to tell me that I am useless for knowing to depend on him alone. This is because, I do not have much sincere friends. It is just as simple as that.

Ahh.. I am talking so much about all these sad stuff--- I actually wanted to blog about my wonderful date after the stupid quiz that caused so much trouble to me.