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Friday, May 09, 2014

Ambitions vs Reality

To be a teacher is challenging and it has never really appeared in the top 3 list of ambitions. When I think back, I used to dream to be a...

Artist.. who paints.

I used to like drawing and painting. However, I think I am never really good at it. I have never gotten an A in my Art class. No matter how beautiful I think I have drawn, the teacher always gives me B. That disappointed me and made me realized my limited talent in drawing. 

I used to think of being a... 

lawyer.. who later can be a judge.

I used to think I'm good in defending. When I was still a child, dreaming to be a lawyer started from TV series. HK TV series. Comparing the characteristics of a lawyer to my own, I thought I have the potential to be one in the future. This dream did not stay long in my list either as I soon learned that I was not really that good in bickering. I often lose in the fight. 

Like many young children, I am educated in such a way people always tell me 'doctor' is a great ambition. You must be smart in order to be one. Well, following the bandwagon, I aimed to be a... 

doctor... who needs to excel in academics. 

This ambition goes dead soon when I reach Form 4. I am from the pure science class taking Biology as one of my SPM subjects. It is great to learn about Biology but it will not be part of what I want to do in the future. I don't think I really like this memorization required and risk-taking job. 

As I was busy preparing for SPM, I hardly had time to think about ambitions. My only aim at that time was to score excellent results. I worked hard towards my goal and unfortunately, I still missed 1 A to achieve a string of As. It was a disappointment to me because the subject that pulled me down was EST, a subject which I had always gotten A easily. Moving back to the topic - ambition. When I finished SPM, I received the offer letter to be a teacher. Without thinking too much, I decided to leave Form 6 to join the programme. 

Though I know I will soon be a teacher once I graduated, I still dream of becoming something else. For example... I wish to be a... 

Housewife. Yes. No kidding.

I think it is great to be a housewife. It is a job which I think I enjoy doing. No risk. No scoldings from boss. No restricted time. Working at home is a bliss to me. 

Working mother at home - aha - ultimate dream

I used to have this part-time job using my lappy. Therefore, I have the privilege of earning without going out to work under somebody. It was great and I like this kind of life. 

Apparently, it is also because becoming a housewife at home, I can also do what I like to do the most during my leisure time - baking. This can be my second part-time job and it is also my hobby. 

However, dreams always remain as dreams. I have to wake up to face reality. Being a teacher will surely be part of my life but I do hope that one day, I can make my dreams come true. Till now, I still think I love to be a housewife/baker/working-mom more. 

Being a trainee teacher at SMK Pokok Sena does affect my passion and enthusiasm in becoming a teacher. I tried very hard to be a highly-motivated and enthusiastic teacher. I had fun with the Form 5 students who were willing to spend time after school (although they are currently having exams) for the performance I'm about to put on on Teacher's Day. I'm thankful that they are part of my practicum memories as their existence increases my positive attitude towards teaching. I was a little demotivated previously due to some reasons.. However, I'm glad that they are here to make me stronger to go on with the leftover 1 month practicum. Though I have to stay back and practise during my free periods, I think all these effort is worth it. Some people may not agree as they might think that I am just wasting my time for the sake of whatever-you-name-it. To me, this performance will be a remarkable one and it will be remembered always. 


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