Problem Solving & Motivation Styles

. . . . STATUS

Mood : numb

A : There is a difference between male and female.
B : Obviously. Everybody knows.
A : Yes. I don't mean physically, but in their thinking wise.
B : Is it? I don't think so. We are all humans.

I quote this from a conversation I had with a friend with some slight modification here and there to make it short and simplified. He says I'm a gender bias person who always says that girls rock and guys suck. I apologize because I did mentioned something similar but it wasn't really what I meant. I just said it out, just-like-that. My fault. OK.

Today, I feel like talking about the differences between guy and girl. There is a difference. Many are unwilling to accept though. And based on my own experience, the males are the ones who are unable to accept that males and females think unlikely at times.

Boys are more likely to display the strong image to everyone. He doesn't want to be seen as weak. Girls can understand that but sometimes, girls simply don't mind you having some weak times. Boys, you all don't have to be so persistent in showing that tough smile on your face when you don't feel like to. There should be nothing to hide about in front of the girl you love. True? 

A big range of boys are going after ideal and perfection. We all know, nothing in life is perfect. If you think you are, you definitely need to reconsider it. A mistake done, although corrected, it is not perfect anymore. So, why would you still insist saying yourself is perfect? Isn't it a better idea if you could accept how natural we humans are, none of us are perfect with nil mistakes. Life is all about give and take, accept and adapt. You can't live in a perfect world where by failures and sadness keep hunting for you. You will be caught once or twice and get yourself escape, and continue your journey to happiness. 

The diagram above is drawn by me. *ahem* 

We will name these 3 parts as A, B and C, counting from the left as A. Get it? Simple.

Situation A

There is some time when you feel that the weather is hot like shit and there is an obstacle blocking your path. Everything seems miserable and frustrating.

Actually.. What you need is just some perseverance. Tell yourself that you can do it, positively, then take a deep breathe and cross over the obstacle. It's just the beginning of the journey.. 

Situation B 

It's thunderstorm day, raining heavily. You have nothing to shade yourself. Besides, there is a small hill (obstacle) for you to overcome in order to move forward. 

Basically, what you need to do is just look around for something (in real life, somebody you trust) to help you to overcome the difficulty. In this case, I used the stimulus of a banana leaf (just in case if you don't know I'm drawing a banana leaf. Tsk). With that, you can shade yourself and continue to move forward by a bigger step this time (because of the small hill there). 

Situation C 

What is the worse finally comes. It's natural catastrophe-Land Erosion! (I'm trying to infer is an obstacle/difficulty that is inevitable) 

What you should do? Of course LIE DOWN! Sometimes, you need to pause a while when you know you can't move forward immediately. And when the danger is over, you should continue your journey like how you did earlier. 

Life is more a less like this.. A journey, that needs a lot of perseverance, determination and most importantly, positive attitudes. It is just hard for you to move on when you always think only the bad things. Isn't it? 

Now, we talk about motivation. There are two types. 

Motivation 1 : Negatively

A : You are so stupid! You could definitely do better! 

B : ........

A : Look at others. Why they can do so well, and not you? Is your brain made from ostrich's? 

B : ................... 

A : Hopeless! 

B : *really hopeless* 

The motive for negative motivation is to make one buck up. It has a little positive intention there but it is done in the harsh way. 

Analysis for applying motivation A on individual B 

Self esteem : 0 %

Power : 80% 

Sadness : 90%

Percentage of success : 50% 

Reasons : 

Self esteem is 0% because B probably feels like he/she is the worse ever. 

Power is 80% because B gains power from those negative comments made.

Sadness is 90% because those comments are hash. It hurts. Ouch! 

Percentage of success is 50% because nobody can guarantee. It all counts by your own effort.

Motivation 2 : Positively 

A : You're not lousy. You're not stupid. You are just a little out of luck this time. 

B : It's the worse result ever. I cannot imagine myself getting such result. It's just stupid. Me, stupid.

A : No, it's not that way. The result you have is a product of your effort. Since it is not sufficient, you should put double effort next time. What's the point scolding yourself stupid when it already happened?

B : It's just... stupid. 

A : It's not helping anything. Take it positively, get up from where you fail. You will definitely score better next time. 

Positive motivation sounds like self-lying? OK, a little, depending on how you see it. It's not necessary self lying if you can put in sheer determination and perseverance in your next try. You can definitely mold your own results if you are willing to work double hard on it. Even Thomas Edison said so, 99% comes from hard work. 

Analysis for applying motivation B on individual B 

Self esteem : 70 %

Power : 80% 

Sadness : 20%

Percentage of success : 50% 

Reasons : 

Self esteem is 70% because he knows he is not lousy. It's just lack of luck and not enough hard work being put in.  

Power is 80% because B gains confidence and courage to move on.  

Sadness is 20% because B is given encouragement, not condemns. 

Percentage of success is 50% because nobody can guarantee. It all counts by your own effort.

To me, positive encouragements "YOU CAN DO IT" always win "YOU BLOODY STUPID FOOL!". 

You work better when you have confidence. Isn't it? It's like walking on a thin rope in the air. If you keep telling yourself, "oh shit, I'm scare! I can't do it.. I really CAN'T" The percentage of you falling down and die flat is high. If you can tell yourself, "OK, Take it easy man.. I can do it.. I can.." The confidence is an energy boost that enables you to go faster and nearer to success.  

We all live in a busy world. Not everybody has time to slow down and tell you encouragement words. The best way is to make yourself speak to yourself that way. If you yourself do not have that positive minded, it's just difficult. You are not hearing to anybody but to your own stubbornness. You may succeed, but in a hard way, a harsh way. 

Learn to be valiant and face the failure. The fear to failure and able to face it and twist it to triumph is the real key. Isn't it? 

The perfect picture to show what I am trying to say

Ha- 

Exactly what that happened.. 

"I'm not a chicken backside = busybody"

"I'm just concern."

C-O-N-C-E-R-N