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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Busy "Holiday" Week

. . . . S T A T U S 
Mood : ok-ok lu~

I woke up suddenly while having my afternoon nap due to the heavy rain pour. Luckily, I managed to rush out to get my clothes in before they are fully soaked in rainwater.

Linguistics Quiz 
I had my Linguistics quiz that day. It was not that tough like I thought it would be. In other words, whatever that came out was actually not in my expectation. The questions were more of definition based and it's either you do it well(you memorized it earlier) or you fail it badly(because you just surpass without memorizing). I guess I'm in the middle because I do not really make the attempt to memorize properly the definitions. So, I hope that the marking will be more lenient or else I'm done for Linguistics quiz.

Group Discussion Assessment 
This morning, we had our Listening and Speaking Group Discussion assessment. I was in the group with Liza, Mahirah and Moganis. In my opinion, I don't feel that the assessment was carried out in a very professional way. Below are the reasons:

  1. Nobody was recording the time for preparation. 
  2. Nobody was recording the time for presentation.
  3. She did not show as if she was concerned with whatever we were saying.
Most of us felt that we did not do very well, apparently because the topic was boring: How to make Malaysia an even better place to live in? I totally cannot remember at all what the options are. I only managed to remember a few: (1) Increase health facilities. (2) Increase public amenities. (3) and (4) I have forgotten but something to do with the road safety. Well, to me, I don't like that topic because it is boring and I have nothing much to talk about it. It was not my day. Next, the very most pertinent reason was: we were not given enough time.

I was not being over sensitive or anything but it was true that everyone realized that the time we were given for our group was pathetically little. I did not understand why it is so but all I could say was: It was NOT fair to be assessed that way. How can we be accessed through the very first few sentences only? The reason why I said so was because not only me, the rest were actually observing the lecturer's expressions and actions while the assessment was going on. I realized that she was not really paying attention throughout the assessment. I could understand that maybe her period was running out of time but that was not a valid reason why our preparation and presentation time were cut short so much without our consensus. Don't you think it is unfair?

This assessment consists of 20marks and I bet that I won't be able to getting even half of it. I will not think that I deserved such marks because I don't think I am being accessed fairly. I don't see any professionalism in the examiner. Don't ask me why I'm writing so frankly in my blog regarding this matter. I believed that it is a very sensitive issue that can caused me to be prejudiced or scolded but whatever it is, this is my blog and I am just expressing my thoughts and opinions regarding the assessment as well as my perceptions on the examiner. Like it or not, I'm sorry if anything you read from here upset you. I'm just simply voicing out my silent frustrations that could not be heard elsewhere in public.

I am frustrated. I am unhappy. I feel unfair. I am not satisfy with everything.

If you could stand in my shoes, you will know what I mean. The examiner has the absolute power in everything but you cannot stop one from commenting your work performance.

Tomorrow's Plan
I will be busy in the saloon for half of the day tomorrow. Why? Cuz I'm gonna do something to my hair. So, I have gotta say goodbye to my bushy hair today and welcome a new hairstyle for myself tomorrow. I'm gonna snap some photo of my look now with the current hair I'm having before they are gone for.. a mean time. I'm looking forward for it! ; ) Hehehe..

Frustration v.s. Friendship?
I'm a person who craps a lot of things you never thought I will say. I'm a joker at some time but I can be really very serious too. So, I don't know if my friends here know that or not but to me, I am really treating everybody sincerely. Despite the fact that I have razor speech like what Moganis said about me, I didn't mean to hurt anybody as in to humiliate nor insult. I'm just being a little frank sometimes which I know somebody may perceive it as very bad. To think it again, it is not really that bad after all to make friends with people who are frank. At least, I am not a faker. Ooops, I cannot say that that I'm not a faker because everybody does have a moment in time when they are forced to be fake. For example.. You must not be too frank in front of the lecturers because when you portray your true self (frank), they don't like it and prejudice is going to take place. Anyway, if you know me well, friends, I'm not like what you think sometimes. I'm sorry if any of my words ever leave any scars in your heart but trust me, I don't mean it.

I used to be a closed up person in IPDA because I feel that there is no necessity to get a good friend here. I can live perfectly well with him, happily ever after graduating after my 5 years and a half. I was wrong and I tried to make some adjustments. I have tried to be friend with people genuinely and sincerely but sometimes the results were disappointing. Why is it disappointing is because when you treat people sincerely, it is not all the times that people regard you back in the same way.

I am a person who do not vent anger on friends no matter how frustrated I am. So, I actually expect people to talk nicely to me when they are feeling frustrated. It's not fair isn't it when you are feeling frustrated and you try to vent your whatsoever anger, show all kinds of attitude in your speech and act. That spoils another person's good mood and it's just bad. I'd rather you keep silent and don't talk. To me, that's the way I handle my emotions. Whenever I am emotionally unstable or what- I will choose to keep quiet for some time and not pouring out my anger and frustrating at whoever I'm speaking to. I admit that I don't show good facial expression when I'm moody but at the very least, I don't talk rudely intentionally or show any kind of attitude which people hate to be treated so.

Phew.. Sigh.. All in all, I'm upset with people whom I see them as friend but they treat me emotionally and throw blunt words to me. I really don't like it because it takes me some time to erase off the grudges. I will definitely forgive you but it's gonna take some time. = / Sigh.. Each time when it happens, I wish I could tell you bravely so that it will not repeat again. However, I'm too coward and I always choose to keep quiet and got myself pissed off at a side. = / Humph..I really thought that, we could be good friends at here in IPDA.. I didn't know such unpleasant thing happened and I-- Sigh.. I don't know la~ =(

OK, let's talk something happy. Recently, I have been using web cam to communicate with him through SKYPE. Hehe.. I really enjoyed it very much! I enjoy communicating through webcam than phone because phone is more hazardous. Eeek? Does laptop brings less harm to me?


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