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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Worries, worries, worries

. . . . S T A T U S
Mood : = /

I couldn't sleep. I am feeling sooo hot tempered right now. I feel like a hot pot on fire. =X Every sigh coming out from my breath is heavy and restless.

I had a hard time sleeping lately. Firstly, thanks to my stupid fan that causes never-ending noise to my hearing system. It distorts it and sometimes makes me have hallucination that I hear metals-rubbing-against-one-another noise even when there is no noise at all. = = " The fan is drawing me insane soon. The two best ways to describe the noise produced by my fan are:

  1. 100 stupid burung tiong making noise together and you can't identify which noise belongs to which bird.
  2. metals rubbing against one another. 
You have no idea how superbly IRRITATING the noise is. I have to bear with it for a couple more days. Then, I will be back home to my own sweet home. I can't wait to be at home. I miss home. I miss everything at home. 

The second thing which makes me feels so pissed off during the middle of the night: I am spending so MUCH time thinking and thinking over the same stupid problem: to curl or not to curl. I hesitated, pondered, worried and ahhh-- Whenever I thought I have a decision, there will be something to stop me. THEN, I withdraw my decision - don't curl. After a while, when I am tempted to see photos of people with curly hairstyles, I can't stop myself from having the thought of curling my SHORT hair. 

I feel so silly over my decision. Why should I cut it short at the very beginning? Seeing the long-hair picture in my display picture makes me feels even angry for my own unwise decision. If I were to be A LITTLE braver and less worry, I would probably be jumping in joy, feeling satisfied with my hairstyle. 

Now, I feel so troubled because-of my hair. I am wondering to- 
  1. Curl 
  2. Not to curl
  3. Colour
  4. Not to colour
I find my hairstyle too boring now. It is so, out-of-shape and just too- simple. I want it to be a little more attractive but it is not--- 

My hesitation kills me. It kills people around me too. When people couldn't give me a good answer, I am frustrated. = = " 

I felt so exhausted. There are blood vessels visibly shown in my both eyes. This clearly shows how tired I am currently. I had a sleepless night last night. Then, I had 2 papers, one in the morning and another in the afternoon. Later, I had a family gathering at KFC. I am tired, yet I am not sleeping. Ahh--I think something is wrong with my tense. Present or past tense? = = " 

After eating the heavy calories X Meal Deluxe Dinner, I felt bad if I don't consume green tea. Hence, consuming 1.5 litre of green tea causes me to have an active brain in the middle of the night. =( 

I feel troubled too because of my s i z e that I am never pleased with. 

If I am given a wish list, I want---- 
  • My hair to be immediately long! 
  • My weight to be reduced immediately! 
They won't come true, immediately---- = ( 

Enough of crapping. Time to sleep. 

I'm having a bad mood tonight. Sigh. 

I'm troubled but nobody will understand. It's a stupid disturbed feeling which I honestly tell you, I detest it.

S I G H H H H H - - - 


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